We at Wasted Wits know, that the moment you read an interesting news item, the first thing in your mind is, “Wonder what David and Eric think about it?” Well, little dumplings, wonder no more...
WHAT I THINK I KNOW
October 26, 2009
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The previous most cringe-worthy cliché: “At the end of the day...” The current most cringe-worthy cliché: “It is what it is.” |
| Am I the only one who thinks Ashton Kutcher is annoying? |
| Note to Nancy Pelosi: When you’re nervous and unsure of yourself and the heat is on... it doesn’t really help to keep grinning like a jackal. A grin means you’re having a good time and it’s obvious you’re not. |
| Well, Soupy Sales died. He was laid to rest wearing a coconut cream pie. |
| My favorite Monty Python gag: John Cleese approaches a one-legged man sitting in a chair and, after circling and studying him, says, “My good man, it appears that you are deficient in the leg department to the tune of... one.” |
| All I know is that, if I ever get cancer, I’m gonna ignore the recommendations of my cancer specialist and take the advice of former “Three’s Company” actress, Suzanne Somers. |
| I get a huge kick out of watching everyone at Fox News feign shock that Obama thinks they are not a news organization. |
| Advance word on Mel Gibson’s exciting upcoming movie, “Edge Of Darkness” is that Mel will have his ass beaten almost to the point of death but then will suddenly recover to kill everyone in the movie who had previously wronged him. |
| The divorce rate in America is 41% for 1st marriage; 60% for 2nd marriages; and 73% for third marriages. These numbers remain the same for those loving couples that swear to their God in Heaven, “I will love you for better or for worse... in sickness and in health.” |
| News From The Grave Dept: Deceased pitchman, Billy Mays will star in a new one-time only commercial for Gillette where his trademark thick, black facial growth will be shaved off on camera. Insiders say that, even though he’s pulseless and not breathing, Mays is still King of the Infomercials. |
| Is it me or is Rosie O’Donnell’s girlfriend, Kelly, sort of hot? |
| In the wake of her recent breast enhancement, Amy Winehouse’s dad told a British TV show that his daughter is, “Fantastic. Her boobs are great as well.” Is it any wonder she’s so screwed up? |
| It’s obvious to me that Glenn Beck needs to “up” the dosage of his meds. |
| My Two Cents: Is there a way to make sure that Jon and Kate get the Swine Flu... and don’t survive? |
| Have you ever wanted to be one of those celebrities who walk around NYC, looking like a homeless person... but really, they have millions in the bank? Me too... especially the last part. |
| I still have a weakness for Woody Allen movies. |
| It seems to me that reporter Helen Thomas is looking more like Golda Meir everyday. |
| Is there a way to turn back the clock? Sure, but you’ll have to wait till November 1st this year. |