We at Wasted Wits know, that the moment you read an interesting news item, the first thing in your mind is, “Wonder what David and Eric think about it?” Well, little dumplings, wonder no more...
WHAT I THINK I KNOW
April 5, 2009
| Send a good thought for poor Farrah Fawcett who is currently very ill. Man, her poster gave me many moments of pleasure back in the day. Fleeting moments… followed by more moments of cleaning up and putting everything back the way it was. |
| N. Korea just launched another missile, which fell harmlessly into the sea. We should give them one more try and if they can’t hit SOMETHING... it’s Iran’s turn. |
| How the hell do you eat a persimmon... and why would you want to? |
| Is there a better breakup song in the world than Kris Kristofferson’s “For The Good Times”? The Ray Price version is still the best. |
| Every time I enter a grocery store, I’m always hopeful that I’m gonna find the perfect avocado. |
| The next time that Paula Abdul puts together a coherent sentence will be the first time. |
| I’m all for legalizing pot. After all, our prisons are too crowded from these victimless crimes. But, get ready for 40-lb bags of Oreo cookies on the shelves if it happens. |
| Do you think Barack and Michelle have done it on Air Force One yet? |
| Just saw the Sex And The City movie. I loved it but why the big deal over Mr. Big getting cold feet? I guess they’d rather he went through with the wedding against his will. |
| Has anyone ever seen a turd in a punchbowl? Did it go over well? Just wondering... |
| Where do these rabid college basketball fans go after the Final Four is over? |
| I heard The Guiding Light was being cancelled so I watched an episode the other day and caught up for the 72 years I missed. |
| Rumor has it that Larry King will soon be divorcing his 7th wife. Can’t we have his ring finger removed or something? |
| Jennifer Anniston is smoking hot but... I think she may know it. |
| Can you imagine Shakespeare talking dirty to his girl? “Thy moist rose petals maketh my blood warm in this hideous winter, yay verily.” Or “Look my love!! Your treasure maketh my thunder stick pointeth toward the North star!” |
| It seems that Iowa has given the thumbs up to gay marriage. Now they just have to find some that want to move there. |
| Lady GaGa’s album, “The Fame” is the number one album in the country. Aren’t you ashamed you didn’t know that? |
| Why can’t a single-leg amputee buy one shoe and pay half price? |
| I was thumbing through a Playboy magazine the other day and, I’m not sure, but I could swear they had airbrushed some of the pictures. |
| The next to go home on American Idol: The blind guy. |
| I’ll say it here: Jenny McCarthy is sucking the life force right out of Jim Carrey. |
| Best train song ever written: “City of New Orleans” by Steve Goodman. Hearing it just makes me want to ride a train aimlessly, from town to town, begging for quarters and drinking from a tin cup. Not really. |
| Best song for your soul: “Vincent” by Don McLean. He would be a genius if this was all he’d written. |
| Heart disease is on the rise in India. They wanted our jobs…they have to take the stress that comes with them. |
| Have you ever seen anyone go through the self-scanning line at the market and make it home before dark? |
| Test of Self-Honesty: When you eat crabs, do you enjoy them as much as you think you should be enjoying them? |