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Elton John
- "Hey Gandern rhond, bella zee non ray, Oh billa zoe faze ow,
B-B-B-B-B-Bennie and The Jets." Translation: "Say, Candy and Ronnie, have
you seen them yet? But they're so spaced out, B-B-B-B-B-Bennie and the
jets." That's right. The Rocket Man heads our list of mumblers. Nobody
else was really even close. I've yet to find anyone who knows the complete
lyrics to "Bennie And The Jets." I'm not totally convinced that even Elton
knows them. Do any of you know all the lyrics to "Philadelphia Freedom"?
We rest our case. |
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Ozzy
Osbourne - God bless Ozzy. He's the poster child for rock and roll
excess, and a testament to just how much the human body can really take.
And, who would've ever guessed the "Prince of Darkness" is just as goofy
as our own Dads? Ozzy simply sings like he speaks and if you've ever seen
an episode of The Osbournes, you'll understand. Or maybe you won't. |
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Mick Jagger
- Mick couldn't care less about his pronunciation, because he gets his
thing from the old blues guys; the same guys who sang, "I woke ub dis
moanin." Hey, that's not a bad well to draw water from. Only Mick Jagger
could turn a one-syllable word into a three-syllable one: "I was
bowaughuunn in a cross-fire hurricane!" I've heard, that if the wind
catches his lips just right, he'll turn that into five syllables. |
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Randy
Newman - We love Randy Newman, but it's not always an easy
relationship. Imagine Cajun Chef, Justin Wilson (the "I garonteee" guy),
after a few weeks of singing lessons, and you'll have a good idea of
Randy's vocal style. You have to put a little work in to "get" Randy, but
it's well worth it, since his lyrics are some of the best around. Just
keep that lyric sheet close by. |
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John
Fogerty - It's always hilarious to hear folks sing along to that old
Creedence stuff: "Bahbahbahbahbahbahbahbahbahbah playin' in a travelin'
band!" All they ever get is the end of the line. By God, Fogerty is
intense though! If you can listen to "It ain't me, it ain't me, I ain't no
millionaire's son, no!" without getting a little goose flesh, then get the
hell off this website. You go, Johnny. |
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Jimi
Hendrix - His hair: an afro as wild as his music. His clothes: funky
'60's London. His amplifier: a Marshall. Turned up to 11. His guitar: A
Fender Strat. Aflame. His music: An electric hybrid of sounds we hadn't
yet even imagined. His lyrics: Unintelligible. |
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Bob Dylan
- I hate to include my man, Bobby Dylan on this list, as it just gives
those friggin' Dylan-Haters one more brickbat to heave his way. God knows,
we Dylan fans have suffered enough. Okay, HE MUMBLES. Are you happy? But
don't ever forget--without him, rock lyrics would still be at the level of
"See Jane run." Put THAT in your bong and smoke it. |